Brenda Niman, Author
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From Muppets to Mad Men Part 2

2/1/2016

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When we left off, I was obsessing about our custom-made, pinkish-brown sectional. I didn't spend all of my time obsessing—we may not have picked the perfect color, but that sectional was darn comfortable. The absurdity of my "problem" brought back a childhood memory. Because our dad worked for the railroad, our vacations consisted of taking the train from Portland, Oregon, to Rochester, Minnesota to stay with our grandma, aunts, uncles and cousins—quite an adventure, but that's another story. One day, I happened to be tagging along with my aunt when she stopped at her neighbor's home in (what I now realize) was their middle class neighborhood...

My aunt's friend was literally wringing her hands over some new custom-made furniture—she thought the light blue couches with piping looked like they belonged in their bedroom. Though I secretly agreed (but sure as heck wasn't going to say anything—besides, what did I know about furniture?), I was struck by the frivolity of her problem. While my sisters and I worried about our mom's next breakdown, we knew there were oodles of folks coping with worse. The incident cemented an observation I'd made before: we all have different frames of reference.
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So I guess I'd come a long way. From a childhood where Mom doled out fish sticks to make sure we all had enough to eat—to dining-out whenever we felt like it. From wearing hand-me-down clothes—to donating furniture to Goodwill. From worrying  if Mom would be there when we got home from school—to obsessing about Muppet furniture and  a pink sectional. From working class to middle class, I'd definitely taken on some first-world problems.

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My search for a new rug began. I hit every rug store I'd ever heard of and contemplated countless looks. I knew I wanted color, but what color? Not brown. We already had plenty of that, and was brown actually a color? Then, I found it—a very '60s, as in psychedelic Mad Men—turquoise, green, red and orange rug. Something about that rug made me happy. Nostalgia? Maybe. Talked hubby into donating perfectly good wool rug and replacing it with a cheapy.

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Moved on to chairs.  Though I've never cared for the look of our spindle dining chairs, they didn't bother Mike and he saw no reason to replace them. Plus, our table was shorter than most tables—Mike's afraid new chairs might be too tall. That would be uncomfortable—an engineer's nightmare. Worked with our fabulous new friend, Darcy, at Kitchen Kaboodle, who seemed to understand our OCDishness after our sectional hunt. Managed to zero in on some chairs, but couldn't find any tables we like better than the ones we have. 

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Mike agrees to new nook chairs. As cute as the temporary squeaky second-handers purchased at an antique store are, they're now thirty years older than when we got them. Besides, the kids have gotten big—as in bigger than us. The kiddie table needs to grow up. On one of my searches, I find an exquisite mid-century table and chairs at a local family furniture shop. Mike hates it. I love it. He thinks it's uncomfortable. I bring it home to try it out.

We immediately miss our larger, more functional nook table, but I have yet another scathingly brilliant idea--give everything an updated look by keeping our old table and pairing it with the new chairs. A month later, come home to an I've-never-seen-him-so-furious husband eating dinner in our nook. The knife-edge chairs are ruining his life. Fine, call the owner and see if he'll take them back with a restocking fee. Several hundred dollars and a highly-embarrassing episode later (the owner's already sold the table and looks like he's going to cry), I give up.   

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On a trip to Target, I spot a turquoise cloth chair with chrome legs. Pull it off the shelf and sit. Ahh ... no knife edge here. You're kidding me, I say aloud, as I look at the price tag of $39.99. Not only do I love turquoise, the chrome/fabric chairs are just the ticket to turn our nook mid-century-ish. Buy it, try it, call the nearest Target. They have three more, and they're five dollars off. It's serendipity! Now all I need is a table. A couple of years (literally!) go by. Find the perfect table at Macys. 

Move on to dining room. Last day of Kitchen Kaboodle sale. Work with ever-patient Darcy on new table and chairs. Keep it simple—honey wood and rose fabric. Order eight chairs and an eight-foot table. Two days later, Mike calls from work—he's already mourning the loss of our old dining set. "Now you tell me?" Plug my nose and call Darcy. She's kind. And understands—her sister is an engineer. Cancel the table, keep the chairs. Settle in for an eight-week wait. Check with consignment shop about taking our Early American furniture. Not interested. More trips to Goodwill.

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Cruising through Home Goods one day I spy a Star Trek-looking turquoise Commander chair with chrome legs. It's not only shallow, it swivels and rocks. Our small family room is pretty full, but... take photos and decide to sleep on it. Barely get a wink, worrying someone might buy MY chair. Next day, it's still there, and when I pick it up, it's light as a feather. Leave it in the van overnight—best not to hit hubby with these things right when he gets home from work. Bring it in the next day. Try it out in different places and manage to dent the hardwoods. Oh, a foot is missing. Commence long and involved internet search to secure a fifth foot.    

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​Low-profile dining chairs arrive. They're gorgeous. And comfortable. And fit our table. I feel confident entertaining again. Host Thanksgiving dinner. Have everyone over for Drew's birthday. Host Christmas Eve. Take a photo for this post. Hmm… that dining room light fixture is looking a little stodgy. But if we get rid of the dining room fixture, we're gonna have to get rid of the living room fixture too. Gotta go...

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